Dating Guide. Step 3 - the Dating Game. Honest Assessment of Your Situation




Preparing to win the dating game, you discovered by now WHO you REALLY are and WHAT kind of women you actually would love to meet and date. Next, this dating guide will help to answer the question, "HOW can I attract and date those amazing women?"

This chapter helps you to make an honest assessment of your situation and abilities. In addition, it will tell you how to spot and improve your weaker points that might hold you back in the dating game.

Remember, there is no magic in meeting and dating women.

Everything boils down to your ability to take a persistent action and periodically re-evaluate your progress.


"NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN TAKE THE PLACE OF PERSISTENCE. TALENT WILL NOT; NOTHING IS MORE COMMON THAN UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE WITH TALENT. GENIUS WILL NOT; UNREWARDED GENIUS IS ALMOST A PROVERB. EDUCATION WILL NOT; THE WORLD IS FULL OF EDUCATED DERELICTS. PERSISTENCE AND DETERMINATION ALONE ARE OMNIPOTENT. THE SLOGAN "PRESS ON" HAS SOLVED AND ALWAYS WILL SOLVE THE PROBLEMS OF THE HUMAN RACE."

Calvin Coolidge




There are four main areas where you have to be in control in order to successfully meet, attract, and date interesting and beautiful women.

Not all of those areas are equally important but in order to get good at the dating game, initially you have to take care of them ALL. With your experience of social interactions growing, areas dealing with your external appearance will get less priority than the “inner game” stuff.

Create a checklist. Write an honest answer to each of the points listed below. Give the same EMPTY checklist to at least two people whose opinion you trust and ask them to give an honest evaluation.

After you are done with assessment part, do whatever it is within your powers to develop all four areas equally. You might not have enough money to fix your teeth but you still can dress well.

You may not be able to join the gym but you can start running a couple of miles every day. You are getting the idea.



PHYSICAL APPEARANCE



This area includes:


  • Hairstyle and facial hair.

    Learn what’s good for you. Consult a specialist. It should be someone whose clients are young, trendy, and fashion-aware. (Use common sense and make correction according to your age.)

    Generally speaking, beard is a no-do. If you have a horseshoe issue (i.e. bolding hair) and try to preserve it – stop. Shave it all. Shaved head is cool.

    Ear/nose hair – removed. It’s a must.

  • Teeth.

    Fixed. Clean. Brushed 3 times a day. Always fresh breath.

  • Nails.

    Neat. Short. Clean.

  • Body odors.

    None. Take a shower. (Particularly before going out!) Use good deodorant. A tiny bit of good cologne is more than enough. Actually it’s better to smell of no cologne than use too much of it.

  • Physical shape.

    Funny enough, this one is not a big deal in the dating game. On the contrary to the popular belief, this one is NOT a decisive factor. Of course, there is a small subgroup of girls that goes for buffed up guys. The rest will not mind this point - if your other areas are in order.

    It is highly advisable though to do sports for YOURSELF with a single purpose to FEEL GOOD. This will have direct influence on your subconscious. You will start feeling better about yourself. Women are very sensitive and they will pickup this positive vibe from you. This way you will benefit from working out indirectly.

    Use this dating guide, the dating game advice, and your own common sense to decide.

  • Body posture.

    Make a conscious effort to walk/stand and sit straight. Alexander Technique is a good place to start.

  • Body language.

    Women are very good at evaluating you LONG BEFORE you open your mouth. They can tell A LOT about you based on the way you move and carry yourself. They will be also carefully watching your body during the interaction.

    Like this dating guide already told you, women don’t do it on purpose, guys. This holds true for many other things in the dating game. Nobody is out there "to get you."

    That’s simply the way evolution shaped us. Most of this is done unconsciously and women can’t even explain their instinctive attraction or turn-off towards one man or another.

    Read this article about body language for some good basic knowledge of the subject.



CLOTHS, SHOES, AND ACCESSORIES



More often than not nice cloths make you feel better about yourself. Women around you will feel that positive vibe and reflect it back. Do not underestimate this piece of the dating game.

I have a friend who dresses extra nice for all his business meetings. He says that a good shirt and expensive pair of shoes inspire him and assist in being more centered and focused.

Find out what’s “hot” in men's fashion today. Read GQ magazine. Check out trendy shops where fashion-aware young(er) people go. Find a female friend who has a good taste, loves fashion and take her on a shopping tour a couple of times.

BELIEFS



What do you think of yourself as a man? Are you worthy of having amazing women next to you? Do you see yourself eventually winning the dating game?

Everything around you is simply a reflection of your inner world. Realize that the only thing keeping you from having what you desire in life is YOUR OWN MIND.

It may take some time to reprogram your subconscious but it is definitely worth it. If you followed previous step and found out all about your fears and desires – realize that there are many tools available to start the process of positive change.

Creating a positive view of yourself is THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP on your way to success in the dating game.

You can start with Neuro Linguistic Programming to replace old negative beliefs with positive ones. You can use hypnosis. Positive affirmations. The Law of Attraction. Anything that resonates with you.

Do whatever it takes. Try different things and different approaches because there is no one universal path that fits for all of us.

Use your own good feeling to determine if any given method is useful for you. Again, follow this dating guide and do whatever YOU RESONATE WITH.



YOUR COMMUNICATION- AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS



Meeting interesting women (and people in general) implies lots of face-to-face interactions. How good are you in approaching and interacting with strangers? This is an important thing to learn not only for the dating game but for the game of Life in general.

If even the thought of it makes you nauseous – don’t worry. It’s not necessary to walk into the hottest venue in town and start talking to people left and right.

More important is honest assessment of where you stand on the scale of "introverted and unable to talk to strangers" to "extroverted and talking to everyone".

When I grew up, I was scared of talking to ANYONE at all outside of my closest social circle. A simple idea of talking to a stranger on the phone made me sick. It took me a couple of years to overcome this fear.

It required determination and persistence. Now when I stand in front of big groups and give seminars - I feel happy and excited. However, this was not always the case.

Wherever you are, you don’t have to move in giant leaps. The best strategy is to realize where you stand right now in terms of your social skills. Next, you set a goal you want to reach.

Once you have it done, you break the whole path into baby-steps (mini-goals). Each of those steps expands your comfort zone a bit but does not call for any significant emotional reaction.

Once you achieve the first mini-goal, you set a bar a little higher and continue to expand your comfort zone.

For example, you want to approach women comfortably, anytime and anywhere. How do you go about it?

You divide the whole path into small baby-steps. First, you learn to keep eye contact with strangers. Do it every day for a week or a month until you feel comfortable.

Then start saying “Hi” to random people. Realize that you can run away right after this. No obligations, no further contact with that person is necessary. This thought made me very comfortable when I used this method to overcome my fear of meeting strangers.

Your next step will be to hold a little conversation. In the beginning, even a single sentence will be enough but soon you will be able to hold it for a minute or longer. You are getting the idea.

Getting better and better in the dating game comes from following this dating guide, having patience, and taking a good look at yourself periodically.

Time you invest in yourself is worth more than you can imagine. You will become happily aware of it at the moment you will start going out and meeting women.



So far, learning about the dating game in this part of the dating guide, you made a good assessment of your situation, got a feedback from some people you trust, and formed a general idea of how to fix your sticking points. Now it's time to move to the next step in learning the rules of dating and create an ACTION PLAN.



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