What Exactly Is Polyamory? Is it Anything for You? Will It Solve Your Relationship Issues?
After reading this article on polyamory you will be able to decide for yourself whether polyamorous lifestyle is anything for you or not.
Did you consciously choose monogamy? Or did society automatically install it in your subconscious without giving you any choice?
If you are curious and growth-oriented person, it’s time for you to evaluate your options and consciously decide whether monogamy still fits your needs and desires. The same does your partner.
If both of you are open-minded and trust each other - then it’s time to discover what alternatives are there for you. Polyamory is one of them.
Life is like a box of chocolates, remember? But only if you are mature enough for it.
Polyamory model is for "advanced users." Unless you always were in search of it and finally found it here - approach this one with EXTREME caution!
Polyamory means having MORE THAN ONE important and intimate relationship in your life. This may include romance, flirting, sex, and even spiritual connection.
Note: In polyamory, you take all your relationships RESPONSIBLY.
This is how many of my friends live these days. Polyamory rather grew out of them in the process of trial and error among their efforts to find happy, harmonious, and fulfilling way of living.
Many of them (including me) did not even know the term "polyamory" before.
This is how it works for them nowadays:
All their girlfriends know each other. They tell all new women about that open lifestyle and principles. Straight away. Total honesty.
Their new girlfriends know right from the start that there will be no exclusivity for both parties involved. Those women have full freedom to choose - whether to accept or decline such an adventure. There is no manipulation or lying whatsoever.
MOST PEOPLE’S MISTAKE IS THAT THEY ARE TAKING ONLY ROMANTIC OR SEXUAL COMPONENT AND TRY TO BUILD A FUTURE ON IT. WHEN AFTER A WHILE ROMANTIC COMPONENT COOLS DOWN AND SEX LOOSES ITS FRESHNESS THEY HAVE NOTHING TO KEEP BECAUSE THEY DID NOT PAY ATTENTION TO FRIENDSHIP. IN POLYAMORY YOU DO YOUR BEST TO DEVELOP REAL FRIENDSHIPS ALONG WITH ROMANTIC PART.
Alternatively, there might be no romantic part at all, people are just friends, AND they have great sex in addition to it.
Since my friends are interested in meeting and making friends with smart, intelligent, and interesting women – their other girlfriends are also interested in meeting those new women too. Remember, many women are bisexual or bi-curious. Read this article to find out more intersting things about female bisexuality. It all belongs to the lifestyle of polyamory.
However, you can re-define this whole concept for yourself and create your own rules.
It was not an overnight shift of their lifestyles. One becomes much happier after reconsidering basic society-induced models and rules in any area of life including relationships.
At some moment, you realize: Why do I care so much about opinions of people who mean nothing to me? Who stands there waiting for me to obey? People on the street? Colleagues at work?
Most important rule in building any kind of happy life for yourself and for those close to you is this one:
I AM NOT RESTRICTED BY ATTITUDES, BEHAVIORS, AND ACTIONS OF OTHERS. I DON’T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT ME.
Open relationships let you explore and enjoy different dynamics with different people. This pleasurably takes you out of your comfort zone and gives you opportunity to grow and mature as a person. You get a rare opportunity to create special relationships that cherish and support each other.
When two people start to live together, there are quite a few areas where their mutual needs meet. After a while, some other needs come to the surface that simply cannot be met in a current relationship. Those needs can and will eventually ruin the relationship.
Overcoming initial resistance in sexual preferences may sometimes bring positive results. I experience this with many of my girlfriends while teaching them how to squirt.
On the other hand, in case of BDSM (bondage/domination/sado/maso) or cross-dressing, pushing someone into those areas may call for repulsion and lowering general attraction level between two of you.
Examples of non-sexual needs that are not being met:
The list can go on and on…
WHEN YOU CHOOSE OPEN RELATIONSHIP ALL THOSE ISSUES WILL NEVER KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR AGAIN.
TRANSITION FROM MONOGAMOUS WAY OF THINKING AND LIFESTYLE INTO OPEN RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE VERY SLOW AND STEP-BY–STEP BUT WHEN YOU FINALLY GET THERE, YOU REALIZE HOW HAPPY YOU AND YOUR PARTNERS HAVE BECOME.
Read this article on how to successfully deal with jealousy no matter what lifestyle you lead.