Male Sexuality and Sexual Variety
This article on male sexuality will assist you in consciously deciding how your sexual behavior and (future) relationships are going to look like. In addition, knowing WHY you want and need sexual variety will permanently delete feelings of shame and guilt for your desires.
You will be able to choose CONSCIOUSLY what line you’ll follow and what you’ll expect from your partner.
And of course – you will make up your mind on what you are going to give her in exchange for her understanding and support.
In any case, your relationship will not end in divorce because of infidelity issues.
Let's first look deeper into what is actually happening in our society.
The subject of male sexuality has become obscured and misinterpreted by the consumerist interests of modern society. Enormous amounts of money are being invested in commercializing of our direct environment.
In daily life, it means aggressive replacement of people’s independent judgments, beliefs, and values by inferiority complexes and dependency on superficial values, material things, and hypocritical morals.
What constitutes sexy, mature, and successful man in the eyes of modern society? I don’t have to tell you. Just open any magazine and you will find plenty of things that will successfully lead you away from YOUR CORE.
End goal is simple: make you look for your male identity in the outside world and in things you don’t possess yet. Those items may include anything from prestigious job to material symbols such as expensive cars, watches, or certain brand of alcohol.
The pinnacle of the whole quest is often some beautiful woman portrayed by advertisements as an ultimate reward for your “good” behavior.
At the same time, any direct display of masculinity is strongly discouraged. Healthy male sexuality has become something to be ashamed of.
Men are evolutionary designed for having sexual variety. They simply have a powerful HORMONAL drive to have many partners.
Sexual involvement does not include in many cases emotional attachment and connection from man’s side.
According to Louann Brizendine’s book "The Female Brain", neurologically, men have 2 times the brain space devoted to sexual drive plus larger brain centers for action and aggression.
Though both men and women make testosterone, men make more than 10 times as much. This brings in turn ENORMOUS differences between male and female sexual behaviors and desires.
Due to this fact, thoughts related to sex go through a man’s brain hundreds of times every day. However, due to the same neurological reasons, women think of sex only a couple of times a day.
This largely depends on their emotional state and menstrual cycle but in general, this statement holds true for most women.
Men PHYSICALLY feel pressure in their gonads and prostates unless they ejaculate more or less frequently. They also have double processing power in their brain devoted to sex than women do. This is how the reality of developed male sexuality looks like.
Notice how easy some women speak negatively about male sexual drive. Particularly when a man is in a relationship. The same way someone who never had hunger can’t understand what a starving person might be feeling.Their craving for food may seem unnatural and “over-the-top”.
The only advice men hear – shame on you, suppress it, it’s easy. Blaming men for their strong sexual drive will not bring any woman far. Only understanding and eventual accepting will.
In addition, when it comes to relationships - suppressing men’s need for sexual variety has one interesting side effect.
If a man does not satisfy his need for having more than one sexual partner – his interest towards his wife/girlfriend will gradually decrease. No amount of so-called “relationship advice” such as wife wearing sexy lingerie, having sex in unusual places, etc. will help to solve this issue.
In general, sexual life of couples who are together longer than 3 years is on a very low frequency level. According to statistics, their intercourse lasts on average only 7(!) minutes.
If you ask man from such a couple about sex with his spouse - his answer will often be, “Oh, well, she is my friend, sex does not matter so much any more.” Wondering how she feels about it?
However, man’s hormonal drive stays strong and pushes him towards affairs (say hello to infidelity) or simply turns him towards paid sex.
Again, this is not men’s “fault.” According to research, a huge testosterone surge beginning in the eighth week in mothers womb turns “unisex” brain into MALE by killing off some cells in the communication centers and growing more cells in the sex and aggression centers. Yes, it starts that early!
Girls, on the other hand, do not experience testosterone attack that shrinks the centers for communication, observation, and processing of emotion.
And this is just the beginning. The same pattern continues into puberty and adulthood. This is how male sexuality develops.
This difference in brain development is often at the core of the major disappointment women feel all their lives with their marriage partners—he refuses to socialize and doesn’t like long or “relationships” talks. But as we know now - it’s not his fault.
During teenage years and all the way into adulthood his testosterone levels influence among other things his interest in socializing. Exceptions are sports and any kind of sexual pursuit.
If men become aware of the fact that their biological brain state is guiding their impulses, they can choose not to act or to act DIFFERENTLY than they might feel compelled.
Whether you are single, considering a relationship, or married - it is good to know what your drives and impulses are, and where do they come from.
This gives you possibility to make a CONSCIOUS choice. Conscious = chosen according to YOUR values and beliefs and therefore free of shame and guilt.
Choice based on valid knowledge and first-hand experience.
You took your time and you thought things through really well.
You are honest with yourself and others.
Your decision does not harm anyone including yourself.
Your logical mind, your conscience and your intuition – all three agreed on your choice of sexual behavior.
For example, infidelity is on the top of the list of reasons for divorce. Once both partners know their respective sexual drives well enough – they can make CONSCIOUS decisions TOGETHER and choose what kind of relationship they are going to have.
Your marriage or future relationship has much greater chance of survival once you know the truth and act on it. Read this article about female sexuality to learn new and interesting facts.
Among other things, this knowledge will assist you in helping women to free themselves from the negative paradigm with regard to their sexuality and ability to receive pleasure. Those women will become your loyal friends and lovers after you introduce them to these ideas.