Jealousy Dissected and Evaporated
I guess you are here either haunted by jealousy rages, when it tastes bitter in your mouth and your head spins of nightmarish pictures of your partner’s infidelity.
Or alternatively, you are fatigued by your partner’s insecurity and scandalous unbearable jealous strikes. So much energy darkened, spoiled, and sucked into nothingness.
Gather some courage and have a sober and uncensored look at it. Let’s dissect this dirty poisonous bastard together. Follow me.
I had to overcome this emotion when I eventually progressed from serial monogamy to polyamory lifestyle.
Take your time and think about jealousy. Think really well.
Remember that your ego may stand in the way. Be honest with yourself and after a while, you will realize what lies behind all other emotions connected to this word.
IF WE DIG, DEEP ENOUGH WE FINALLY UNCOVER THAT THE REAL ROOT OF JEALOUSY IS FEAR.
When does jealousy rise up? Here is an example from my own family.
My mother was a very sociable person. During her university studies and her later career, she had many friends both male and female. She was very trustworthy, friendly, and loyal person by nature.
Many people wanted to see her as a member of their social circle.
After she got married to my father, things have changed. He insisted that she would not see any male friends anymore. The only exceptions were her direct colleagues at her work.
My mother loved my father very much and she gave up all those friendships. She confessed later that she had regrets about it for the rest of her life. She was happy in her marriage with my dad and she loved me a lot.
Nevertheless, a huge part of her social life was taken away from her with no reasonable explanation.
I know people who would not let their partners leave the house without having full info on where and with whom those are going.
MANY MEN AND WOMEN BEHAVE AS IF THEY ARE BUILDING AN INVISIBLE CAGE AROUND THEIR LOVED ONES. FEAR LIES BEHIND IT. IF THEY COULD SPEAK, THEY WOULD SAY THIS: “I AM AFRAID BECAUSE IF MY PARTNER WOULD BE GIVEN A FREE WILL – S/HE MIGHT CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE.”
It is as simple as that. There are basically two ways to deal with it.
First: imposing total control on your partner and building a cage around this person.
Second option: making a decision to invest time and energy in becoming the best person you can imagine.
There is one more fear that causes man to be jealous. Man has to know for SURE that his children are his own.
He cannot stand a thought of his child being of someone else's seed. This is totally normal and evolutionary justified process.
This kind of jealousy can be dealt with by honest and open communication between partners. There is no need for fear and intimidation in this case.
Simple awareness of the REAL reason behind jealousy and willingness to communicate honestly and with an open mind will do miracles.
You can deal with any issue when you recognize it for what it is. When you love someone, you are interested in realization of his or her potential to the fullest.
There is an excellent saying:
“IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING, SET IT FREE. IF IT COMES BACK TO YOU, IT IS YOURS. IF IT DOES NOT, IT NEVER WAS.”
Jealousy is nothing else but another ghost for you to defeat on your way towards personal growth and happiness.
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