The Structure of Successful Interaction. Part 1 - How to Talk to Girls

This article on the subject of how to talk to girls is covering the first and extremely important part of the structure of any successful interaction - approaching and staring conversations. Read the introduction page on how to meet girls if you have not done so yet.


You are in a club. It’s time to approach and get conversation rolling. Just like while doing sports - you need some warm up before you can effectively play or interact with others.

You want to gain certain positive momentum - both conversational and emotional. How do you achieve this? Simply go and talk to random strangers.

First few conversations might feel a bit awkward and offbeat but after a while, you will start feeling better and better. Words will come easier and easier out of your mouth without any thinking. Things to speak about will pump into your head right at the moment you need them.


Many people struggle with an issue of having nothing to say. I was having this problem for longer time then I want to admit. Whenever I was in a circle of friends, I always had plenty of subjects to discuss.

Whenever I stood in the middle of a club – my brain went blank. It took me a while to overcome this block. If you suffer from the similar issue – you can use ANY crunch you can think of.

Don't sit around not knowing how to talk to girls. There are plenty of ways. Make a remark about something in your environment, simply say Hi, or have a line prepared in advance. Do whatever it takes.

Realize that the ONLY purpose of your opening sentence/question/story – is to get conversation started. Do not hang on that subject longer then a couple of minutes.

If you are serious about learning how to talk to girls – imagine 5 situations where you meet them most often and have nothing to say. Make 5 opening sentences for each of those 5 situations.

Go try them all and see what happens. Again, this dating guide is not for sitting and thinking. It is here for your immediate implementation.

Prepare that your interactions will last AT LEAST 10 minutes or longer. During this time YOU are the one doing most talking. Apply 80-20 rule here when you are talking 80% of the time and she only 20%.


Make clear FOR YOURSELF what is the purpose of your interactions. Stop trying to get something from women whether it is sex, good mood, or ego validation. Realize that this is not about GETTING - this is about GIVING.

Your purpose is to amuse yourself and to convey your personality while doing it. That is all. That will be more than enough for a very successful interaction. This mindset will make learning how to talk to girls easy and fun.

Do not put too much importance on any particular interaction. It is no more then a fun conversation. Relax. If your inner game is in order, everything will flow fine. Stay away from interview-like interactions. Ask very few questions about her at this stage. Many stories and comments.

The key here is to love yourself, be in the moment, and enjoy the flow of the interaction. Approach women as if they ALREADY LIKE YOU. Talk not with intention to be liked by them but TO FIND OUT IF THEY ARE INTERESTING AND COOL ENOUGH TO BE WITH YOU.

Do NOT TRY FOR RAPPORT. Read this article about what rapport is and how to use your voice. In short, - in the context of your interactions - do not try hard to make her like you.

Forget all that “You like X? Yeah, me-too!” kind of talk.


If a woman of your choice is with a group - do not neglect them. Engage the whole group in a conversation. Few minutes of light-hearted, fun interaction will be more then enough. Remember to introduce yourself to all of them.

Also, do not get into any logical discussion with the girl you like but do get logical with her friends.

After a while, you will FEEL the moment you are accepted by the group. That will be the right time to start talking to a woman of your choice one-on-one.

How do you get her alone? Realize that you do not have to take her away to another room. Simply step aside and have a chat between the two of you.


While learning how to talk to girls - pay close attention to your body language. If you are going out with a friend – you can ask that person to observe your posture and other non-verbal communication channels.

One more idea: ask them to make a short cell-phone video of you talking to women. That video will certainly reveal plenty of points for future improvement. Read this article on good body language to learn more...

By now, you spoke for as much as 10 minutes and you most probably successfully achieved your first objective. Remember, it was sparking some attraction and making her to wish you to stay a bit longer.

So what do you do now? What's the next step? This article will tell you all about it...

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