Feeling Unable To Have Healthy Relationships? Afraid To Go “Crash and Burn” Yet Again?
When it comes to love and sexual relationships society prescribes certain rules and expectations.
Can any really healthy relationship develop and grow under such pressure?
In addition to all those "basic" rules there is fundamental one:
In spite of the overwhelming evidence in the world around us that monogamy is not working – society keeps reinforcing this doctrine with all available media communication channels.
They convince you that there will be ONE person with whom you want to spend all your time for the next 50 years of your life.
In addition to being your total sexual match, that person is going to be excellent company, good father, understanding friend, in many cases also a social circle replacement, good communicator, wise teacher, solid financial institution, and decent psychologist.
This picture of "the ONE" is installed from very early age and almost no one thinks it through. This is one of the reasons so many relationships and marriages break within no time.
Society tells you that all your needs: emotional, sexual, spiritual will be met with just ONE person AND within a monogamous relationship.
How realistic is this statement? It is so far from the truth that that 4 out of 7 marriages are ending in divorce and out of those left 75% are having infidelity issues.
People become “serial monogamous”. This means to satisfy society standards they officially leave one relationship and begin another. However, second marriages fall apart with scary 80% divorce rate.
To be happy and have healthy relationships you have to let go of what you think you are supposed to believe and decide for yourself what constitutes for you an "ideal relationship."
Some of your emotional needs and desires cannot be met within traditional marriage or partnership and it’s perfectly ok. Allow you and your partner to be flexible and base your model on happiness and fulfillment and not on fear and scarcity.
May be sooner or later, you will come to the model where you have more than one partner. And so will your partner if s/he so desires.
Be honest with each other; realize what jealousy is – just an emotion. Rather useless in most cases.
However, modern society reinforces and encourages jealousy and competitiveness. Doing so, it promotes scarcity mentality, the mentality of “there is not enough in this world” and “others are going to get you.”
In fact if you really love your partner then you also are committed to his or her growth. Thus, everything that enriches your partner’s life should please you.
Love, Honesty, Open Communication, and Trust are four basic elements of your happiness in ANY relationship.
Scared? If someone screws up your trust and honesty – it only tells everything about him or her. You can continue on your path and find someone who is worthy of being with you.
If s/he lives up to your trust and expectations then - congratulations! – you found a friend and ally for life, who knows….
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