Dating Guidance. Mastering the Fundamentals - Voice

Preparing to meet girls? Good dating guidance can't ignore most powerful instrument that will help you in ALL areas of life and not only in your dating life. It's YOUR VOICE.

Pay attention to any group of people in a public place. You will notice that the leader of the group will have the loudest/clearest voice of all.

The rest of the group will unconsciously adjust their voices to match her.

Along with a strong eye contact, your voice is something that tells person a lot about you.

You can be an expert and speak about the most interesting subject in the world – but if your voice is weak or if you mumble – your story will not be well accepted.

What’s even worse - you may create an impression of someone weak and unsure of himself. Do you really need this in your life? I don’t think so. That’s why all you say should be projecting loud and clear.

This becomes particularly important when you go out to meet girls. Remember, following this dating guidance means taking massive ACTION.

If you are at the club/bar, you should be able to cut through the noise with the strength of your vocal cords and with the use of right speaking techniques. Learn to speak loud so that you don’t have to lean in and shout into people’s ears.

Record yourself when you are on the phone with your friend. Then record your conversation with someone you hardly know. Listen to both recordings a few times.

  • Are you mumbling? Learn to speak clear.
  • Are you speaking too quiet? Calibrate your voice to the environment.
  • Do you hold pauses after another person is finished talking or do you interrupt people in the middle of their sentence?
  • Are you talking too fast? Slow down. Paradoxically, when you speak slow people will hang onto your every word.

What’s your prevailing tonality? There are three basic tonality types. Remember this point when you follow this dating guidance and approach women next time.


1. Trying for rapport with another person.

("Rapport is the quality of harmony, recognition, and mutual acceptance that exists between people when they are at ease with one another and where communication is occurring easily." Pegasus Training Manual)

This implies talking as if you are asking for a favor. Many people do it their whole lives without even noticing. You had people talking to you like this. Street beggars do it all the time.

Many guys speak like this when they just start going out to meet girls.

How does this kind of communication feel like? Do you have a lot of respect towards people who speak like this to you? Not really, right? Therefore, avoid this tonality unless you deliberately decide to use it in some situation.

2. Neutral rapport.

You speak this way with an old friend or a colleague at work about mundane things. “Neutral” here means that you are simply communicating messages without putting too much importance and emphasis on the conversation.

3. Breaking rapport. You sound like this when you are teasing or challenging someone. When angry and confronting people verbally you are in an extreme “rapport-breaking mode” for sure.

Your general communication style should mostly include neutral and breaking rapport tonalities. Revert to rapport-seeking mode only as an exception.

Again, remember that following this dating guidance means you have to take ACTION. If you never paid attention to this area of your life before, chance is great that you have a lot to improve. How?

There are plenty of courses available on developing the clarity and loudness of your voice. You can get help on this subject at the actors’ classes, visiting a logopedist, or simply buying a good audio course.

Invest some energy and effort in the process and enjoy your clear, loud, deep, and resonating voice next time you go out and meet women.

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